Finn Mertens Vs The World
by YoungJules
Summary: Adventure Time mixed with Scott Pilgrim (I'm sorry if this is something that's been done before). This is Finn Mertens' precious little life. He's got his band The Scream Queens, his roommate Jake, and FP, his girlfriend in high school. But everything changes when he meets Bonnibel Bubblegum. There's evil exes, punk rock, and the power of self respect. This is an AU.
1. Chapter 1

_**CHAPTER 1**_

**Long ago…**

**In the Mysterious Land…**

**Of Ooo, Canada...**

"Finn Mertens is dating a high schooler?"

As Marceline asks this question, everyone turns their attention to the lanky twenty-two year old with shaggy blonde hair as he grabs a bottle of beer.

"Is she hot?" Billy, the the giant ginger-bearded friend finally asks.

Finn smirks. "Hey, c'mon guys. Flames is really mature! She might as well be twenty-something."

"Yeah, just like you might as well be a fifteen-year-old kid," Marceline retorts. She rolls her eyes, scratches the unshaven side of her hair, and takes another swig of Heineken.

"Oh Marceline, you're just sooo charming. Anyway, you'll think differently about her once you meet her. She's coming over tonight during band practice!"

Marceline pantomimes shooting herself in the head, and Billy snickers to himself. Young Beemo, a small, soft-spoken computer nerd, peeks over his Nintendo DS.

"I thought non-band members weren't allowed."

"Can it, Young Beemo. We let you in, didn't we?" Finn replies, gulping down the rest of his bottle. Young Beemo sulks, before returning to his game. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it!" Finn darts from the table and opens the door. "Hey! FP. What's up?" He says, casually leaning against the door frame.

FP, blushes, hugging her schoolbooks to her chest. "Hey Finn. Can I come in?"

Finn lets her in and shuts the door. After awkwardly looking around for a bit, FP takes a seat on the couch next to Young Beemo, facing the band equipment. The two sit in uncomfortable silence for a moment. Finally, FP decides to break the silence and turns to Beemo.

"So, uh, what do _you_ play?" She asks, offering a friendly smile.

Beemo thinks for a second. "Uhh, Mario… Pokemon… Zelda… that's kind of a big question." He slouches deeper into the couch and returns to his game.

"Oh…" FP turns her attention to Finn, Billy, and Marceline, who have re-entered the room.

"Is this the pipsqueak?" Marceline asks, looking FP over. FP shifts nervously on the couch."

"Come on, Marceline, she's my girlfriend!" Finn protests.

Marceline doesn't break her gaze from FP. "Finn and I dated for a while, you know."

"R-really?" FP asks.

Finn abruptly cuts in. "What? Naw, naw… I mean yeah we dated, but it was really nothing."

Marceline turns her gaze to Finn and rolls her eyes. "Are we gonna start or what?" she asks, striding over to her drumkit.

Finn finishes tuning his bass guitar. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's start with Launch-Pad McQuack!"

"That's just a working title," Billy interrupts. He picks up his guitar, strums a couple chords, and throws the strap over his shoulder. "Okay Marceline, you count off."

FP leans in intently.

Marceline picks up her drumsticks, twirls them in her fingers, and shouts:

"WE ARE SCREAM QUEENS AND WE'RE HERE TO MAKE YOU THINK ABOUT DEATH AND GET SAD AND STUFF! ONE, TWO, THREE FOUR!"

**~Okay, so that was chapter one. Stay tuned for the next update, featuring Jake as Finn's snarky gay roommate.~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Later…**

**In Billy's Room…**

"She seems nice," Young Beemo speaks up.

"Yeeeahhhh…" Finn sighs contentedly.

"She seems awesome!" Billy chimes in.

"Yeeeahhhh…"

Marceline looks at Finn, dead-eyed. "Finn, if your life had a face I would punch it."

Finn snaps out of his trance, surprised by his friend's jab. "Wait, what?"

"Like, are you actually happy in this relationship? Or are you just an evil douche?"

Finn narrows his gaze, shocked at the accusation. "Like, what, do I have ulterior motives? Come on, Marce. That ain't me. I actually like FP, believe it or not."

Marceline returns the harsh gaze. "Whatever you say, little man. But I'm not buyin' it." She pops her gum and goes back to strumming her bass guitar.

And awkward silence follows. Finn twiddles his thumbs.

"Anyway Beemo, you were saying something about FP being great?"

"Yeah. She's, uh, great."

Finn returns home from a few more hours of drinking and video games at Billy's and fumbles lazily for the house key. The living room is pitch black when he walks in, so Finn spends a few seconds searching for the light switch. Eventually he finds it, and immediately wishes he hadn't.

"_**DUDE, WHAT THE STANK! ANNOUNCE YOURSELF FIRST!"**_

Finn turns beet red upon seeing his roommate, Jake, naked in bed with an equally naked man. He dives for the light switch, and the room is mercifully consumed in darkness again.

"Suh, s-sorry bro," Finn stammers, still flabbergasted from the awkward encounter.

"It's cool. We're clothed now. Proceed."

Cautiously Finn turns the light back on, and thankfully Jake had pulled his fuzzy orange pajama pants on, and the other man had hurriedly grabbed a pair of Finn's pink boxers from the floor and slid them on.

"This is Tiffany," Jake explained, scratching his curly dirty blonde beard. "Tiffany's a boy."

Finn plops down on a mangy green chair next to the mattress, which had no bed frame and was lazily placed on the floor in the middle of the room. "Uhh.. yeah. Anyway, before you hear any gross rumors from anyone else, yes, I am indeed dating a seventeen year old."

Jake leans in, automatically in gossip mode. "Dude. Is he hot?"

"Not funny dude. And, if you must know, she is _very _hot. She's _Asian_."

Jake yawns. "Don't be gettin' a racist boner, bro. I've banged some pretty ugly Asians in my time."

"Ew. Noted. The point is I'm very happy and you can just eat it."

Jake smirks and tilts his head. "Does this mean we won't be sleeping together from now on?" Tiffany guffaws, and the two boys high-five.

Finn can't help but snicker this time. "Dude. If you didn't let me live here then I would be in a cardboard box right now… or like, dead or something."

Jake grins at this. "Heheh. Oh yeah. I forgot, you're totally my bitch for all time!"

Finn's tone becomes serious. "So, back on topic. Don't tell anyone about the seventeen year old thing. Especially don't tell my sister. She'd flip her flop if she knew."

Jake is too distracted to respond, typing something on his phone and giggling.

"Dude, who are you texting?"

Finn's phone vibrates. He looks down to see that it's a text from none other than his sister.

Fionna: "R U KIDDING ME U LIL CREEP DUMP HER DUMP HER DU-"

Finn puts his phone away without reading the whole thing. "Dude. Up yours."

"No, up Tiffany's. Look dude, this is really weird. I mean, a high schooler? Really? I mean, have you two like… done stuff?"

Finn smirks. "You mean, like, you and Tiffany stuff?"

"That is anatomically impossible. You know what I mean."

"Well, so far we've only hugged. We almost held hands once but she got nervous."

Jake looks thoughtful for a moment. "Holy shit, that's adorable. But seriously, you need to get your head on straight."

This time Finn gets defensive and stands up. "My head is totally on straight! Age is just a number, man!"

Jake sighs, and gets up from the mattress. He puts a hand on Finn's shoulder, trading his sarcastic mood for one of understanding.

"Bro, I get where you're coming from. And it's good that you're finally trying to get back in the dating game after that nasty breakup with Shoko."

Finn shudders.

"But I really don't think dating some kid is the right approach," Jake continues. "Look, Lumpy is having that party tomorrow night, that should help you get your mind off things. **And FP isn't invited. **Okay dude?"

Finn smiles. "_Sigh, _fine dude. I'll fester on it."

Jake returns the warm smile. "Nice, man. Nice.

The moment is ruined by Jake's pajama pants falling down around his ankles.

**~~~Okay, so I decided to keep on trying with this story. I promise the League of Evil Exes are on their way. Lemme know what you guys think!~~~**


End file.
